It's been awhile since I put anything out and it's going to be awhile yet. So I thought I would post a teaser of one of the books I've been working on. So here it is.
were going to kill me. They were going to hunt me down and pull out all
my innards. That's what grandpa said. But grandpa was like
that. Kinda blunt and always to the
point. Well, a point he wanted to
make. Other times he was pretty vague. He had been a big influence on me when I was
careening into my teenage years.
wasn't really my grandpa, though. He was
just some old man who had lived down the road but he had been a wolf shifter
too, just like me, and he told me that was what they did to shifters without a
pack. They killed them. I didn't
have a pack. But it wasn’t my fault.
It wasn't like I was kicked out or chose to go it alone or anything.
My parents adopted me and I never really even knew I was a shifter until I was eleven. And until the old man told
me, I never knew I was supposed to even have a pack.
man, shifting? I thought I was going crazy that summer. I know I was acting a little weird too
because I heard Mom whisper to one of her friends I was going through some
major hormones. Yeah, right! Fuck! “Horror-mones,” more like. That
first time I shifted totally threw me for a loop. I ran as far into the
woods as I could get, thanking God we actually lived in the country at the time,
following some crazy need to be as far away from people as I could get.
And I shifted. I had no clue what was happening to me, my body contorting
and changing. It didn’t exactly hurt or
anything, it just felt incredibly strange, like…letting loose, letting go. Once I
was shifted fully into my wolf form I felt free for the first time in my
life. It felt so good! I
ran for hours. I killed for the first time too, a small rabbit. I
saw it and I chased it and I caught and killed it. I drank
its blood and then I ate it.
I threw it up.
never killed again.
even so, I was kind of proud.
The shifting part? I didn't understand it. But I loved
it. I spent a lot of time in the woods that summer. I think my mom
thought I was probably "discovering myself" in a far different
way then I really was. No, I was discovering how awesome it was to simply
That was when I met the old
He had just made a kill himself
and was muzzle deep when I ran right into him. I knocked him over and we
both rolled. He came up snarling and snapping. Scared the hell out of me. I ran so fucking
fast I had burn marks on my face from the crap I must have plowed through on my
way out of the woods. I know he chased me but I ran far
one was as surprised as I was when later that same night he showed up, in human
form, at my front door. Oh, I knew immediately it was him. I could smell him. He told me later he tracked me right to my
house. He seemed to think I was stupid
or something to allow for that.
introduced himself to my mother, said he was a neighbor and simply decided to
"get to know us". Turned out he lived just down the road. He eyed me a few times, almost feral like,
until my mother told me to get my ass into the kitchen and introduce myself.
Fuck I was scared! I didn't know anyone else could do what I could do and
suddenly here was another human who was also a wolf? How much fucking sense
did that make?
course, it didn't make any sense I could do it either, but two of us? It made it that
much more believable that I wasn’t insane and it may sound crazy but I wasn’t
sure which was worse. Being insane and
hoping I would grow out of it someday or really
truly being able to turn into a wolf.
eleven the world just shouldn’t be that complicated.
invited him to dinner a whole lot after that, said she felt sorry for him. Besides, he told some pretty tall tales. She said he reminded her of her old man, my
real grandpa, who died before I was adopted, so I just sort a started calling the
old man ‘grandpa’. He never once
he told me about being a shifter. Nope,
we were not the only ones. There were
plenty of “us” out there. He told me all
kinds of things, even about shifter rules and shit. A lot of it I forgot, but some stuck with me,
like the “they will kill you if you don’t
have a pack” thing. He said it was
why he rarely shifted anymore. Seems
other wolves can smell you and track you.
You have to be careful. Yeah. I get that now.
why kill a wolf without a pack?” I asked
the alpha will look at a lone wolf as being competition for leadership. Alphas are fucking crazy that way.”
why wouldn’t they just make me a part of the pack?”
could be a threat.”
laughed. Yeah, me, a threat. I stood all of five foot six, weighed maybe
hundred ten on a good day under my mop of platinum hair and I’ve seen my wolf. Although I think I am a very pretty color,
one I don’t think is normal for a wolf, I’m the same kind of “totally not impressive”
there too. He asked me about it once, my
wolf’s color, right after we met.
the fuck color are you, boy?”
don’t know…white I guess.”
my ass. Your…like a blue silver…or a
black silver. Shimmery, like a
ghost. I’ve never seen that before.”
“Probably. Color like that’s intimidating. Alpha would probably kill you just because of
Fuck. I wanted to ask more but I was already
feeling anxious about the no pack thing, already starting to look over my
shoulder, vowing I would never shift again.
was other shit too, like the alpha made all the rules and everyone in the pack
had to submit. I was never any good at
playing follow the leader. Pack
initiation was another nightmare and I do mean that, literally. They all get to fuck you, he said. You come into a pack at the bottom rung and
they all get to fuck you.
I was only eleven, going on twelve, but I had pretty much already figured out I
wasn’t into girls. I had a friend at
school named Timmy and he and I hung out a lot.
We used to sit up in his room and whack off to pictures in a magazine
Timmy swiped from his old man’s bedroom; pictures of naked big titted women,
spreading their legs, looking kind of sleepy with their mouth’s all open and
shit. Timmy used to be all bug eyed
turning those pages and rubbing himself through his pants until he took his
dick out. He would usually stop at the
centerfold and pull it out to full length.
By that time, he was hard and dripping.
fuck, Trevor, isn’t that the most awesome sight?” That’s what he would say to me. Every time.
Then he would get real busy, moving his hand up and down his thick dick,
rubbing the shiny pre-cum over the tip and down the sides, just staring at
those pictures. I had to agree it really
was an awesome sight, but it wasn’t the picture I was looking at. No, I got
off on watching Timmy’s dick. I liked
hearing Timmy’s moans as he got close to spurting. I liked watching the way he would jerk his
hips in time with his hard and fast strokes.
He would reach down and play with his balls too. I remembered wondering what it would feel
like if Timmy did that to me. Sometimes
late at night I would jack off imagining it was Timmy’s hands on me instead of
girls didn’t do it for me. Not that
Timmy did either, it was just that I liked looking at dicks.
even so, I wasn’t too keen on having a whole pack fucking me and to tell you
the truth, I didn’t know at that time how they could. I was a guy.
There was nowhere to stick it, is what I thought. I mean, those
magazines were somewhat explicit and were pretty much the extent of my sex
education. Girls had a hole. I still had no idea how any of it would fit
and I wasn’t all that convinced I would want to be putting my cock up inside
anyone like that anyway.
then at eleven, going on twelve, the horror-moans were just kicking in so not a
lot of things really ever did make much sense.
Still scared the crap out of me.
gramps, did you ever belong to a pack?”
he said, “once.” I remembered he smiled a kind of bitter smile. But he wouldn’t talk about it. Something of course had to have happened to
him. Maybe it was the “whole pack fucking
you” thing. All he said was that was why
he was living in “Middle of Fuck, Minnesota”.
There were no packs out here, or at least, none he had ever run across
and he had been there since, well, even he couldn’t recall.
he was older than dirt.
fact, I believed everything he told me.
life cracks you upside the head from time to time and I seemed to be a favorite
target. The old man got real sick one
day and he died. One day he was there
and the next he was lying in a wood box looking pale and…wrong.
smelled funny too.
didn’t have much family, just a man who suddenly showed up who claimed to be a
cousin by marriage. Seemed the old man’s
long dead wife was the sister to his mom or something like that. All I knew was that fucker didn’t smell right
the funeral he said he wanted to get into the house grandpa lived in. I didn’t like his attitude but since he was family
– sort of – I showed him where grandpa had lived. He was all business like, going through the
old man’s stuff like he was searching for something, but treating everything like
it was trash.
are you looking for?” I asked finally.
searched through drawers and closets; he lifted the mattress off the bed. He even checked the floor boards by stomping
his feet all over them. I think he was
trying to figure out if they were loose or not.
Yep, he was searching for nothing.
My instant distrust of the guy was dead on.
he happened across the box that had my name on it he first shook it and when it
made no noise he tried to open it.
“Hey!” I said.
“That has my name on it. Grandpa wanted to give me that.”
harrumphed and threw it at me. “He
wasn’t your grandfather. Figure out how
to open it. I want to see what’s
shook it too. It felt empty. “Why?
There’s nothing in it.”
looked at me with a scowl which made the wolf in me cower. I almost whimpered. Fuck that would have been embarrassing. He seemed to lose interest at that
point. After making a total mess of
grandpa’s house he left. Empty handed.
County came in and went through grandpa’s stuff too. They had a little more respect for it but not
much. There was an auction mom refused
to let me go to and after the house was empty a “for sale” sign went up on the ill
kept front lawn.
cried for two days.
the next night, I broke in.
The shifting part? I didn't understand it. But I loved it. I spent a lot of time in the woods that summer. I think my mom thought I was probably "discovering myself" in a far different way then I really was. No, I was discovering how awesome it was to simply run.
That was when I met the old man.
He had just made a kill himself and was muzzle deep when I ran right into him. I knocked him over and we both rolled. He came up snarling and snapping. Scared the hell out of me. I ran so fucking fast I had burn marks on my face from the crap I must have plowed through on my way out of the woods. I know he chased me but I ran far faster.